Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
