Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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