That reminds me...we need to get swords
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
