My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
