yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
two words: eviction party
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
