i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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