Cold hands, warm shart.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
