She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
