I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
