I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
