Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
