Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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