i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
