you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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