Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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