I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize