I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
