I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
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the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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