I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize