what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
my poor anus
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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