Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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