Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My life is pants optional.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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