no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
