I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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