dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
