With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
