Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
