Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
