so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
