we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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