I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
