Where are you?
In a non slutty way
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
