You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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