I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
