The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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