Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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