i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
