I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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