you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I have post one night stand depression
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
