Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
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Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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