i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
No I am not eating basil off your cock
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
