i already hear my dad disowning me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
