Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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