Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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