Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
