What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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