Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
