Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
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Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
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At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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