hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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