even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
