:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
