omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
