she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
