i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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