its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
