I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
