3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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