Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
jump out the window naked night went bad
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