You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
