You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
