There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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